Soon, they might ask if you love them and you will probably agree. But, yet, they'll keep asking and asking. And, before you know it, 'thoughtful and affectionate' starts to feel clingy and suffocating. What's happening, you wonder? Well, chances are that you might be dating someone with an anxious attachment.

What Exactly Is Anxious Attachment?

Simply put, anxious attachment is one of the three insecure attachment styles. People with anxious attachment specifically experience a lot of anxiety about potentially losing or being separated from their partner. They constantly worry about things going downhill or their partner losing interest and/or breaking up with them. They also tend to be very dependent on their better half for their own identity and self-worth. Needless to say, people suffering from anxious attachment styles tend to be in constant need of reassurance and also cannot trust someone completely.

What Causes An Anxious Attachment Style?

Attachment styles have a lot to do with your childhood. If you had a happy secure childhood, it's highly likely that, later in life, secure attachers typically find it easier to trust the people they are dating and form close relationships with them. However, if childhood needs were not met or were met inconsistently, this would result in an insecure attachment style - either anxious, avoidant, or disorganised.

Anxious attachment usually occurs when children are unsure whether their caregiver will leave them permanently, so they spend a lot of their time worrying about their surroundings and watching out for early signs of abandonment.

Naturally, people going through this attachment style are over-sensitive to signs of rejection, and, depending on the other person, put their partner's needs above theirs, and walk on eggshells around their better halves.

So How Do You Date Someone With An Anxious Attachment Style?

If you're wondering if it's possible to be in a healthy relationship with someone suffering from an anxious attachment pattern, the answer is 'yes'. They might have a different perspective but, with time, patience, and love, you can help your anxious partner inch closer towards secure attachment.

Accept And Understand

Knowing your partner's attachment style and educating yourself on what it means is what's going to help you understand your relationship. Read up on their attachment style, and talk to a therapist if you have to, to better understand how to make it work. Be mindful though - don't try to give them tips straight off the internet. Remember that you're trying to understand to support and not to fix them.

Communicate, Communicate And Communicate!

One of the most important things to remember when dating someone with an anxious attachment is that open and honest communication is what will help your partner move toward a secure attachment. For example, instead of getting upset with them for asking you regularly

if you still love them, you could remind them of that just by bringing them flowers, or sending sweet messages frequently. Even a simple text message saying 'Can't wait to see you tonight' will do the job.

Be Consistent

More often than not, an anxious attachment style arises from feelings of uncertainty during the childhood days, which is why you must be consistent in your attention towards them. For example, ensure that you follow through on any promises or commitments you make, even if they seem small or insignificant to you. And, in case you can't do so, remember to let them know so in advance.

Encourage Your Partner To Open Up

Help your partner understand that they can voice their feelings and discuss their fears with you. Make them understand that talking about their feelings is one of the best ways to calm anxiety. Encourage them to talk to you or their best friends about their thoughts.

At times, it might feel frustrating to date someone with an anxious style, but, with time and patience, they can move towards a secure attachment. Having said that, it's just as important to take care of your mental health, and, if you're experiencing stress from dating someone with an anxious attachment style, it's important to put your own needs first.