SHILPA SHIRODKAR'S STORY IN HER OWN WORDS:

JINX VS JUBILEES

Ramesh Sippy's Bhrashtachar (1989) was my debut. But before that some of my projects got shelved. Supposed to be a big launch, Souten Ki Beti, didn't work out. The film I was supposed to do with Boney Kapoorji. That also didn't happen. I was dubbed 'jinxed' but I had the support of an amazing family. My sister Namrata (Shirodkar, wife/actor of South superstar Mahesh Babu) and I wanted to make a name for ourselves.

Then, Rikku Rakesh Nathji (producer and ex-manager of Madhuri Dixit), introduced me to Mithun Dada (Chakraborty). I owe a lot to Dada. He saw my pictures and spoke about me to Ramesh Sippyji. That's how I was signed to play a blind girl in Bhrashtachar, which featured Dada and Rekhaji. The 'rape' scene was sensitively shot (Anupam Kher plays a politician, who rapesShilpa's character and has her killed). It was not sensational. I went on to do nine films with Dada (including Trinetra, Hitler, Swarg Yahan Narak Yahan, Jeevan Ki Shatranj, Rangbaaz between 1991 - 1996).

Rakeshji had said, "Your character will only bring you love." I trusted him. My fan mail increased significantly. The best part about being a part of a successful film is that you're recognised by the character's name. FromShilpa, I became the caring 'Radha' for my fans, who addressed me so in letters.

'B'IG ENCOUNTER

I was indeed fortunate to have worked with Amitji (Bachchan) in Mukul Anand's Hum (1991) and later Khuda Gawah (1992) I was his crazy fan. I adored him. He was my idol, my hero. I'd no idea that one day I'd be working with him. I met Amitji for the first time while shooting in Ooty for Hum. I was rehearsing a shot when there was a buzz. Suddenly, heads turned around as he walked in. I couldn't believe I was seeing 'the love of my life' for the first time. He walked in wearing an electric blue trench coat and huge sunglasses… the tallest man in the corridor. I froze. He came towards us. He shook hands with me saying, 'I am Amitabh Bachchan!' My hands turned cold. Even now as I recall the moment I get goosebumps.

He sat and watched the shooting. I was finding it difficult to do my steps. Mukulji told Amitji she's 'nervous'. Amitji calmly said, "Don't be nervous. Just do your work." Then on, I went about 'doing my work', giving retakes and not being embarrassed about it. I learnt the value of time and work from Amitji. Of being kind and humble even in that position.

Through the '90s, I did a medley of films including Aankhen (Govinda), Bandish (Jackie Shroff), Do Matwale (Sanjay Dutt), Yodha (Sunny Deol), Gopi Kishan (Suniel Shetty), Bewafa Sanam (Krishan Kumar), Mrityudand (Ayub Khan)… M.F.Husain's Gaja Gamini in 2000 was one of my last films before I got married to Aparesh Ranjit (UK-based banker) in the same year.

MARRIAGE & ME

I've travelled the world with Aparesh. We've lived in different countries. We started off with the Netherlands for a year. Then we lived in New Zealand for three years. There I did a hairdressing course from Winters Hairdressing Academy just to keep myself busy. I became a professional hairdresser. Later, I took up a corporate job and worked with Dun & Bradstreet as a credit controller for more than two years. I quit the job when I became pregnant. Our daughter, Anoushka (Ranjit) was born in 2003 in New Zealand. Then we moved to London. We stayed there for seven years.

GRIEF-STRUCK

Dad (Nitin Shirodkar) passed away in 2007 and Mom (Vanita Shirodkar) in 2008. It was shocking that they both passed away from the same illness - cancer. It was the darkest phase in my life. My husband Aparesh, my sister Namrata, my daughter Anoushka… all were there for me. But I still felt alone. I was so emotionally upset that I'd blow everything out of proportion and make a big deal of it. I couldn't understand why I was doing that because basically I'm a happy person. I knew something was not right. I was kept on antidepressants.

In 2010 I wanted to leave London. My husband was doing extremely well there. But he realised that I needed to come back to India to heal myself. I needed to be closer to Namrata. I returned to India. We even started a production house.

Here, I also got inclined towards spirituality. I started reading about life after death. I believed my parents were around me and watching over me. Choreographer Shiamak Davar, who's also spiritually inclined, helped me during the time I was grieving. He said, "Don't run away from the pain. Eventually, you'll learn to deal with it and the pain will become part of your life."

In Mumbai, I also met an amazing hypnotherapist Vikram Reddy. The four sessions that I did with him gave me a new perspective. I started dealing with the triggers that disturbed me. It helped me go deep within me. I was able to deal with my sorrow. Thankfully, it's all over and in the past.

BACK TO WORK

In 2013, I resumed work with the TV series Ek Mutthi Aasmaan. In fact, I turned 40 on the sets of Ek Mutthi... Silsila Pyar Ka (2016) and Savitri Devi College & Hospital (2017) are my other shows. It was a golden period because television is a women-centric space. To be getting that love and respect at my age is rare. I also featured in the film Guns of Banaras (the 2020 film re-launched Rakesh Rikku Nath's son Karan Nath).

My husband is back in London pursuing his career. We keep meeting each other. Recently, we went for a vacation. Anoushka has graduated in International Relations and History. She's currently pursuing a law degree in London. Emotionally and physically I haven't felt better. People compliment me on my weight loss, which began in the Bigg Boss house itself. I guess the choices there are limited. It's about being careful about what you eat and how much you eat... In the real world we have so many options. Yeh bhi khayenge, woh bhi khayenge!