'It is very important to fix the matter while it is relatively new and small.'

Illustration: Dominic Xavier/Rediff

It's not uncommon for a spouse to doubt her/his partner at some point.

It could be due to insecurity, past relationship experiences, a genuine lack of communication or sudden changes in the partner's behaviour.

rediffGURU Ravi Mittal, CEO of Quack Quack, an online dating web site, and Rebounce, a matrimony platform, tells a married man how he can rebuilt trust with his wife.

Anonymous: My wife thinks I am dating my co-worker.
Every time I step out for an office trip, she fights with me thinking I am going on a date.
She has called my office in the past to check and, due to some miscommunication, she assumed that I didn't tell her the truth about where I was.
I had visited an old male friend for drinks after office whom she isn't too fond of so I didn't update her.
Since that day, she has major trust issues. How can I fix this?

Trust issues are very tricky to deal with and, if unchecked, it can ruin relationships.

You are right to be concerned about it. The first step is understanding why she is having these trust issues.

What is making her not believe you? Is it her insecurity or lack of communication or something else altogether?

The only way to understand this is through an open discussion.

Find a suitable time when both of you are calm and feeling relaxed. Tell her that you want to discuss this issue since this is happening over and over again.

Please note: You must tell her that you don't like her feeling sad about something that is not even real.

It makes you sad and worry about her. These words will help her understand that you are trying to work things out genuinely.

Let her know that it bothers you that she doesn't trust you and ask her what it is that makes her think that you are lying to her.

Hear her out and you might be able to find out exactly what’s happening here.

Sometimes, in marriages, people start to feel less valued and trust issues can stem from that feeling.

Sometimes, it's miscommunication.

It is very important to fix the matter while it is relatively new and small.

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