Her husband, the writer Javed Akhtar, once advised her not to be so hard on herself and to stop apologizing for her achievements.

The actress spoke about this incident in an interview with Simi Garewal that took place in 2000 in Rendezvous with Simi Garewal. Javed Akhtar was present too, which allowed the audience to learn a little bit more about the life and career of Shabana Azmi.

He [Javed] said, "You have to stop apologizing for being successful and asked me if I was feeling guilty about my achievements," Shabana narrated. The actress then adds how this message helped her understand that she, like many women, struggled with constantly needing to prove to her family that her career was not an alternate to her familial duties.

She says that women feel the need to "prove themselves over and over again" in their families' eyes. She explains how Javed told her that women think they need to assure their parents, siblings, partners, and children that their professional achievements and successes do not mean less devotion to their family. "I didn't realize that I was doing this myself until he mentioned it," Shabana concludes. She realizes now that she has been putting a lot of pressure on herself to succeed both personally and professionally. Her husband's words helped her realize the kind of environment she wanted for her and her family.

Shabana and Javed Akhtar got married in 1984. Prior to this, however, Javed was married to Honey Irani and has two children with her: filmmaker Farhan Akhtar and filmmaker Zoya Akhtar. Shabana and Javed celebrated their 41st wedding anniversary in December 2025.