The symmetry and creativity of the art deeply fascinated her.

"But if I ever dared to come near it and draw a design of my own, she would shoo me away. She used to say that this was a girl's job," she tells The Better India.

Growing up as Shankar, Shanthi often expressed herself differently from what was expected. She preferred wearing frocks belonging to her younger sister and would sometimes try them on in secret. "I'd feel pretty when I'd see myself in the mirror," she says.

At school, she enjoyed playing with dolls with girls rather than engaging in sports like cricket with boys. These expressions of identity, however, led to constant criticism at home and school, eventually escalating into bullying and discrimination.

Unable to cope with the environment, she dropped out after Class 10. She later began working at a chemist shop. "I had no one to share the agony I went through with every day. I used to weep outside my workplace. Nobody wanted to know that behind that male attire and short hair was a girl," she recalls.

Her understanding of her identity became clearer when she met a transgender person who acknowledged her true self. "One day when I was weeping outside the shop, she came to me and asked, 'Hey girl, how are you?' Her referring to me as a girl was the first time I felt somebody understood me for who I was," she adds.

Years later, she disclosed her identity to her family. The response, however, was one of disbelief and resistance. "My mother could not believe it, she reasoned that she had given birth to a boy, how could this happen to me then? As per them, the last resort was to get me married. They did not understand me. I kept weeping but nobody cared. I even thought of taking my life," she says.

At 21, she connected with the transgender community and later turned to sex work as a means of survival.

Her life began to shift when she was invited by a Bengaluru-based research institute to share her story publicly. Following her testimony, she was offered work as a radio jockey at a community radio station.

"I did not know anything about radio. Within a week, I learnt everything from scratch, like editing, recording, and going live. This platform gave me a voice and an identity," she says.

She continued in radio for three years before undergoing sex reassignment surgery, which impacted her mental health and made it difficult to continue professional work during recovery.

After her surgery in 2015, she came in contact with the Aravani Art Project, an initiative working with transgender individuals through mural art and community engagement.

"I remember getting an invitation from the founder of an ongoing art project. I was in so much pain, I was bleeding. But I was excited about this project as well. I kept an extra sanitary pad with me and went to the place. There, I climbed two ladders and started painting," she says.

"All the pain went away as soon as I started painting," she adds.

Art soon became both a source of livelihood and emotional healing for her. Over time, her family also began to accept her identity.

She recalls a moment that stood out during Diwali. "My mom gifted me a kurti. It was an unforgettable moment for me. I wore that kurti to my mom's place, she watched me as I wore makeup and even shared a few tips. Today, my feminine traits are 'normal' to her. This did not happen 20 years back! I attribute all these changes in life to art."

(inputs from PTI)